British English is so weird!

So I finally caved in and got some books for recreational reading, but some are just so hard to follow! At first I just thought the author had failed high school English or something, but after plowing through a couple volumes, I noticed it's a common trend among many different authors. So here's a few things that really bug me about British editing:

1. For example, if I were to say, "why hello, I just bumped into my friend and she said 'go away, I'm busy' and then stomped away into the mist," the British would say 'why hello, I just bumped into my friends and she said "go away, I'm busy" and then stomped away into the mist' The use of double and single quotes are backwards!!!! It throws me off.
2. They like to use the same word back to back all the time. For example, had had, has has, have has, been being are common phrases. I find myself backtracking all the time to make sure I'm not misreading anything.
3. The use of dead words is celebrated. Thus, I find myself reading things like; 'wow, that adventure was very fun!' and 'i like very big seashells'. Very invigorating.
4. Rather than explain something while it's happening, authors tend to explain an action far after its occurance. For example, commonly, an author will say 'such and such looked up' blah blah blah, talking about something totally unrelated, blah blah blah 'oh, and by the way, such and such looked up because she saw a cat in the window.' I feel blind.

But don't get me wrong, the plots themselves are ok. The editors are just very very british. Hm, I should grab a copy of terry goodkind or something and see if it's really just the editing or more just crappy authors who failed at effective creative writing. Happy reading!